Going to Uni is a glorious time, filled with hope and independence you wave goodbye to the people you love and try and contemplate moving to a new city and paying for toilet roll. Unfortunately for many of us, living away from home is incredibly difficult and before you know it, you’re back in the same dingy club you threw up in on results night. Now I’m not one to stereotype (jk it’s who I am,) but I am certain that these people exist in every small town in the country and you will absolutely meet them upon returning home.
- The ones that have stayed the exact same:
They’re still hovering around clubs, drinking the same thing and talking about memories from 6 years ago. They’ve been around for so long, they’re practically part of the furniture and you find yourself questioning whether you’d be able to tell them apart from their 18 year old selves.
- The ones that became real adults:
They’re parents, have real careers and are saving for a mortgage. You’re happy for them but can’t help think of a time in which they were grinding on some stranger to Rihanna’s hit song “S&M.”
- The Judgy Aunts:
No I don’t know what I’m doing with my future, yes I do think my degree was worthwhile and no, I don’t want a job with your friend’s husband’s cousin, thanks.
- The Old Fling that you had completely forgotten existed:
Whilst doing your best “oh hi I didn’t see you there” you shimmy towards the door, repeatedly telling yourself that you were young and stupid so it’s okay.
- The friend from years ago that you still love:
You’re completely different people now but you still get excited about seeing them and discussing all of the dumb stuff you used to do. Hopefully you’ll actually end up grabbing that drink you’re always on about with them.
- The “Twelve Year Olds” that are now eighteen:
Yes they are allowed to drink legally now and no matter how much you deny it, you were doing the same thing as them three years ago.
- The Fresher that goes to your Uni:
You end up yelling a variety of places that you can get cheap drinks at and going on about how much they’re going to love University – whilst hiding how jealous you are that they get to experience it for the first time.
- The smug ones that are exactly where they want to be:
Great, you have the perfect job, I’m so glad that you landed on your feet. Now please walk away so I can sob into my glass of wine.
- The people that are in the exact same boat as you:
Thank you for keeping me sane, you fantastic people you.