74 thoughts I had whilst watching THAT EPISODE of Orange is the New Black


I want to preface this by saying that I’m still very much heartbroken. I get too attached to fictional characters, I know, get over it. Secondly I think that the last season of Orange is the New Black was the worst television I’ve ever seen and I’m shocked and impressed that they managed to bring it back.   

The most recent season of Orange is the New Black touched on some very significant social issues that need to be bought to light in mainstream media, it tugged on our heartstrings and reminded us that everyone is human – apart from Piscatella and Humphries – douchebags. But the last two episodes. My god. I haven’t wept that much since Chris died. I’ve basically scripted the emotional roller coaster that was my brain whilst watching Episode 12 unfold. Hopefully we can be there for one another at this time and get through this tragedy together.

  2. Oh god, don’t fall don’t fall.
  3. I would not climb that tower for a million pounds. Okay maybe a million but I wouldn’t be happy about it.
  4. Aw, Bayley. He’s a good egg. An innocent, sweet egg.
  5. Kaputo is about to lose his shit, his moustache is actually gonna to fall out.
  6. Aw, they’re all uniting because of hate. That’s the way it should be. Fuck you Humps.
  7. This still doesn’t make the white supremacists okay.
  8. I swear to Christ if anything happens to Red I’m leaving.

    Picture Credit: Netflix
  9. Brook and Poussey are too cute. Cannot handle. Need to slow dance in a time machine pronto.
  10. AND we need to find out more about Poussey’s mum. And life. Will someone please just tell me how to be her best friend already.
  11. Piper’s stupid face is stupid. She should have left seasons ago.  Let’s be honest I’m probably just doing that thing where you hate someone you see yourself in. Actually I resent that. She’s the worst.
  12. So are her and Alex together again now or?
  13. I’ll never know. I’m not sure they’ll ever know.
  14. YEAH! Fuck the system!!

    Picture Credit: Netflix
  15. Don’t listen to him Mr Kaputo!
  16. How is he THIS MUCH of an arsehole?! They’re all terrible.
  17. Except for sweet Bayley.
  18. And the kind female guard.
  19. Judy King is bloody annoying. Over-privileged, manipulative and annoying.
  20. Relatable dehydration issues though.
  21. Mmm, Yoga Jones really sold out. She sold out baaad.
  22. Oh god please stop mentioning the horrible threesome.
  23. Although I’m VERY glad that they stood up for female sexuality. Especially for powerful women that are past a certain age. Not Judy bloody King though.
  24. Yaaaaas. She’s giving P the hook up. She’s gonna go to Fiji with Soso and live happily ever after.
  25. Yoga Jones really needs to chill.
  26. I would absolutely starve in prison, the food looks hideous. And I’d be the picky vegan. Oooo they need a vegan in Orange is the new Black.
  27. What is it with Piper and getting involved with everything ever? I swear she’s just incredibly bored in prison and can’t stand the idea of picking up a bloody book.
  28. “If your skin is darker than white sneakers, you have no work ethic.” Oh can you PLEASE just bugger off. And FYI, “white” skin is darker than your average Stan Smiths so you can go eff yourself.
  29. Boo and Pennsatucky have one of the best relationships from the entire show, they’ve both progressed so much and they have a genuine, caring friendship. So cute. So glad for them.
  30. HOWEVER, very unhappy with Pennsatucky for talking to Coates again. He’s a hideous person who does not deserve her time.
  31. Forgive him for your own wellbeing but never EVER speak to him again.
  32. Poussey and Brooke cannot be arguing right now. Nothing is worth ending what they have!!
  33. They’ll be okay, right? Right?!
  34. Oh piss off Judy.
  35. Vinnie is such a stereotypical Italian New Yorker it is UNREAL.
  36. But he’s cute and very nice to Morello.
  37. Oh great, she’s messing things up.
  38. Why has nobody spoke to her or helped with her issues before?!
  39. I know that she sweeps everything under the rug and acts like it’s all fine but come on, SOMEONE must have noticed.
  40. Mr Heely 😦
  41. Galina Reznikov, pulling people together since 1955.

    Picture Credit: Netflix
  42. Sophia Burset is a fantastic and courageous woman who deserves so much better than everything that has happened to her in this prison. And her wife is awesome.
  43. I wish my name was Baxter Bayley.
  44. Bayley really needs to start thinking about things before he does them, as opposed to feeling guilty afterwards and attempting to change his ways.
  45. Oh look it’s the ex-warden that was sleeping with Kaputo. She’s weird.
  46. Great, Piscatella is being an arse again.
  47. Poor Red.
  48. Poor Suzanne.
  49. I hate the guards.

    Picture Credit: Netflix
  50. Yaaas Blanca. WHO by the way has been such a badass this season.
  51. YEAH everyone get on the table. Screw you Piscatella.
  52. Why do all of these idiot guards feel the need to be aggressive?
  53. Oh Suzanne 😦
  54. This is entirely Humphries fault.
  55. And will they PLEASE stop calling her an animal.
  56. Well Poussey has done absolutely nothing wrong.
  57. …and is still doing nothing wrong. Get off her!
  58. Everybody needs to calm down.
  59. Wait…she’s not breathing.
  60. Oh god oh god, get off her.
  64. No.
  65. No.
  66. Nope. This is not happening.
  67. Not Tastee. My heart cannot handle this.
  68. And now I’m crying.
  69. I’m crying and I’ll never stop.

    Picture Credit: Netflix
  70. Not the bird’s eye view. Don’t go for the bird’s eye view.
  71. They were best friends.
  72. She was so chirpy and happy all the time.
  73. Nothing is ever going to be the same again.
  74. Poussey 😦

    Picture Credit: Netflix

Yep. My heart is broken.

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