Signs that you are actually an old lady in a twenty-something year old body

I don’t know about you but in the past 21 years I have stopped myself many times and asked –am I actually a 70 year old woman? Call me crazy but there is just something so refreshing about digestive biscuits and complaining about well, anything really. So I have compiled a list of traits that have made me realise I am an old lady at heart.

  1. At family parties and gatherings you’re the one sitting in the corner with your Grandma, discussing the weather and your issues with the local council.
  2. You drink at least ten cups of tea every day.
  3. And wouldn’t dream of leaving the house without 3 or 4 layers. You have a well-loved and growing collection of knitwear.
  4. The thought of going to a nightclub frightens you to your core – they do WHAT on the dancefloor?!!
  5. On the rare occasion that you do find yourself in a club you dance like Jamie Lee Curtis trying to act cool on stage in Freaky Friday**. And if you’ve had a few too many glasses of wine – you whip out classic Dad Dancing moves.
  6. You can’t stand up, sit down or do any kind of drastic movement without making “ooh” and “aah” sounds.
  7. Nothing gives you more joy than a board game night.
  8. And your day is improved drastically with the presence of any boiled sweet.
  9. You always find yourself questioning what new slang means and you’ll never understand why it’s being used – or the root of these new and temporary words.
  10. Any special occasion just SCREAMS Afternoon Tea
  11. You believe every Old Wives Tale and get genuinely worried about going outdoors with wet hair
  12. You always find a way to blame someone else for something and you just love to complain.
  13. A hungover day quickly becomes the worst day of your life and you spend it wrapped in blankets and self pity.
  14. There is almost always a range of home and kitchenware that you desperately want to buy.
  15. When picturing your dream house you’re basically just picturing a beautiful garden. With loads of fruit growing and a vegetable patch and every flower that has ever existed.
  16. You just can’t wait for the day you can finally adopt 15 dogs.
  17. The cinema is just too loud – seriously how big is the room because I’m pretty sure they can hear at the back!?!
  18. You can’t help but feel sleepy at Eleven O’clock, no matter where you are!
  19. You are incredibly sentimental and your life is filled with little ornaments and souvenirs.
  20. When you see scantily dressed girls in the media you can’t help but worry for them and question what their parents must think.
  21. A day spent curled up with a book is your definition of perfection.

**I don’t think Jamie Lee Curtis is an old lady, I just think that she saw me dance one time and replicated it in Freaky Friday.

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